We carefully choose what we put on to the gym to be sure we glance good within the eyes of other people that visit the gym as well. We beat ourselves up after lots of meetings going through all we said (or those we didn’t say), bothered that your colleagues will think you aren’t intelligent or brilliant enough. We only upload the most outstanding picture out of the several ones we took and add a complementary filter to get more likes to convince ourselves that we are looking competent and likeable. Stop thinking about people’s perception of you. Because it may affect your future.
“Care about what other people think, and you’ll always be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu
We sleep in other people’s heads
What this means is that we judge ourselves more sternly. It makes us awkward in our bodies. It makes us feel apologetic for being ourselves. It makes us live consistent with our perception of other people’s standards. I could face more than twenty strangers and talk on any topic. A number of them will hate what I wear; some will like it. Some may see me as a fool, and some might even love what I have to say. Some will not remember me as soon as they leave, and finally, I can be in the memories of some of them for years.
Irrespective of what I do, some group of people will never like me, and regardless of what I do, some people will want me forever. Either way, it speaks nothing to me, And so it’s none of my business.
Why should stop thinking about people’s perception? How to solve it?
Know your worth
Knowing your top values may be like having a dazzling flashlight to urge you through the woods. A dull light should still get you where you would like to go, but you will stagger more or be led astray. With a brighter light, there are chances that you’ll make the right choices either left or right, up or down, a yes or no decisions become more transparent and more comfortable with making. Many years now, I had no idea of what I valued, and as a result of that, I felt I lost in life. I never felt confident in my self to make decisions, and that I challenged everything I said and did.
Mind your business
Another way to prevent caring about what people think is to know that there are three sorts of businesses within the world. I learned this from Byron Katie, and I like it. The weather is a business of God or nature, who lives, who dies, and who is given birth, too, is nature’s business. The body and genes you got are nature’s business. You’ve got no place in nature’s business. You can’t manage it.
The second kind of business in question here is other people’s business. What they are doing is their business. What the people that live very close to you think of you is their business. The time your colleague resumes work is her business. If the driver in the next car doesn’t move once the traffic light turns green, it’s their business.
The third sort of business is your business which include:
If you get angry with the driver in the next car because you’ll have to wait for another red light, that’s your business.
If you get irked because your colleague is late again, that’s your business.
If you’re bothered about what your neighbor thinks of you, that’s your business.
What they assume is their business. What you think (and successively, feel) is your business.
Whose business are you thinking of when you’re disturbed about what you’re wearing? Whose business are you thinking of when you linger over how your joke was received at the party?. In a nutshell, You only have a business that concerns you, which is yours. What you assume and do is the single thing you have the power to control in life.
Know that you have total control over your emotions
When we sit our feelings on some other people’s point of view, then we open the floor for them to control our lives. We’re essentially letting them be our puppet master, and once they pull strings, we either feel good or bad. If someone avoids you, you feel sad. you’ll think, “He made me feel this manner by ignoring me.” But the reality is, he has no control over how you are feeling.
He avoided you, and so you attached meaning to that action. For you, it meant that you aren’t worth her time. Otherwise, you aren’t likable enough, intelligent enough, or cool enough. Then you felt sad or mad due to the meaning you applied.
Know that you are merely doing your best
One of the irritating things my mom would say while growing up (and still means) is, “You did simply the best you could with what you possess at the time.” I so much hated that statement. I had high regulations and that I always thought that I could have done even better. So once I didn’t meet those expectations, my inner bully would begin and beat the crap out of me.
How much of your life have you ever spent kicking yourself simply because you assumed you said something stupid? Or because you turn up late? Or that you looked weird? All the time, you probably did the simplest you could. That’s because everything we do features a positive intent. It’s not going to be apparent, but it’s there.
Know that everybody makes mistakes
We sleep in a culture where we don’t regularly mention how we feel. It seems we all experience a similar feeling, and that we all make mistakes. Even if you’re living in tune together with your values, albeit you’re staying in your own business, albeit you’re doing all of your best, you’ll make mistakes without question.
Every one of us has their mistakes; we only make them differently. Having benevolence for yourself comes to a lot easier once you understand that everybody has felt that way. Everyone has skilled it.
The only fruitful thing you’ll do together with your mistakes is to find out from them. Once you work out the lesson you’ll take from the experience, rumination isn’t in the least necessary, and it’s time to move ahead. Stop bothering about what people think or say about you; stop thinking about peoples’ perception, it’ll change your life.